Love and Other Mayhem
by Bookworm895
Summary: Lily Evans is just your average 16 year old witch; she knows she loves her friends, she knows her sister is a weirdo, she knows she loves to run, and she knows she does not like James Potter. *Thinks she does not like James Potter. **Does not know how she feels about James Potter. *** Might like james potter. ugh, stupid James Potter.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Hi all! This is my first fan fiction piece and I'm really looking for feedback, if it's not too much trouble, leave me a review and tell me what you think! I hope you enjoy (:**

**Disclaimer: J.k Rowlings is the original creator of all these characters and settings, i'm just messing around with greatness(:  
**

**Chapter 1**

"Thank _god, _I'm bloody STARVING" came the loud voice of my best friend Jenny Hughes. Her full name is Jennifer but

most of her friends just call her Jenny, and what she had been referring to in that moment, was the sudden appearance

of the most delicious and hearty food you could imagine, lining the long table we were seated at. On my other side,

came the quieter voice of my other best friend Kimmy Burton. Her full name is Kimberly but nobody but her mother

could get away with calling her that, it was either Kim, or Kimmy, NO negotiation. "Calm down jenny you ate on the

train, normal people don't feel the need to eat every 20 seconds". Those two were always bickering. In a way I was the

mediator of the group, which is saying something because I've been known to have a fiery tempter of my own,

apparently it comes with the hair. I guess I should probably introduce myself then. My name is Lily Evans, I'm 16, 5'4,

and pretty slender. I have freckles dotting my cheeks, flaming, wavy, red hair, bright green eyes, and oh yea, I'm a

witch. I found that out when I was 11 and got my acceptance letter to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My

mom thought it was spam at first; it's safe to say she was decently shocked when a ministry official (from the ministry

of magic) came knocking at our door wondering why I hadn't answered the Hogwarts Letter. To say my life changed

when I was admitted to Hogwarts would be an understatement. Instead of science and arithmetic, I was learning

charms and potions. I met some of the most important people in my life, I made enemies, I discovered myself, and I left

home to go to school at Hogwarts year round. Being a witch came at a price though. A price that I felt was not too hefty

to pay, but a price nonetheless. For one, I lost contact with my muggle friends (muggles are non magical people), and I

also miss my family quite a bit while I'm away, but the greatest sacrifice of all was with my sister. My sister, Petunia,

(yes I've realized we're both named after flowers, don't blame me because my mother went on a gardening kick during

her pregnancies, apparently it "relieves stress") is 2 years older than I am and we used to be best friends. Sure we

fought, have you ever heard of sisters who don't? But we were inseparable. I wanted to be just like her, I was actually

jealous of her in some ways. Petunia was always taller, so she could always hold things out of my reach, or help us get

something from a high shelf. She also had such pretty blonde hair while I was stuck with red hair; damn you uncle

Jeffrey, Damn you. But all that changed when I started developing magic. It was actually my ex-friend (that's a story for

another time) Severus Snape, who clued me in to the fact that I was magical. That's why I wasn't as shocked by my

Hogwarts letter as my mother was. Severus, I mean SNAPE, ugh god I have to stop acting like we're still friends, had

told me all about Hogwarts and Witches and Wizards throughout the couple weeks before I got my letter. She was

jealous I think, that I could do all these cool things while she couldn't and it just got worse when I got a Hogwarts letter

and she didn't. She even wrote to Professor Dumbledore (that's the headmaster of Hogwarts) asking if she could come,

and he politely refused her, but she was crushed. She hates me now, I'm convinced of it. I've tried to reconcile with her

but she wants nothing to do with magic and is convinced it's all for "irrational freaks who won't ever succeed in the real

world". Yeah the day I boarded the Hogwarts Express, was the day I lost my sister, but it was also the day I met 2 new

sisters in a way. So back to Jenny and Kimmy. Jenny is 5'5 with long, curly, dirty blonde hair, and hazel eyes. She's

pretty, and curvy, and gets along great with a lot of the guys. She's sarcastic like I am, but she's also got thicker skin

than I do in a lot of ways. She's super funny, loyal, smart, and kind; I don't know what I'd do without her. Kimmy, on

the other hand is 5'8 with long strait brown hair, she's sarcastic as well but in a much drier, subtler, way. She has brown

eyes, is super skinny, and is much tanner than Jenny, or I. She's also really smart but she's more studious like I am

, Jenny gets by with decent grades and does nothing, while Kimmy and I have stellar grades but we work our asses off.

We're all currently Hogwarts 6th years, which is the second to last year of Hogwarts. Next year we'd be 7th years and

we'd be graduating, out into the real world, finding jobs and hopefully making a difference in the world; it was a scary

thought. Right now though we're sitting in the Great Hall at the opening Feast. Every year on the first day of School

after we get off the train, Hogwarts has a sorting ceremony. Professor McGonagall (the school transfiguration teacher)

brings outs the sorting hat, and places it on a wooden stool. Then one by one she calls out all the new first years and

they get sorted into houses based on their various attributes. Jenny, Kimmy, and I were sorted into Gryffindor, and we're

currently seated at the Gryffindor table. After the sorting ceremony is over, the headmaster Professor Dumbledore gives

a short speech welcoming all the new students to Hogwarts, and all the old students back. After that, we have a sort of

back to school feast, and the food just magically appears on golden plates. Another perk of Hogwarts is how delicious the

food is. Further down the table are some other friends of mine. "Alright Lily? How've you been?, had a good summer?"

that was my friend Collin. Collin Specs is a friend I made the previous year, he's got shaggy blonde hair and big blue

eyes, he's what most of the girls at Hogwarts consider generically cute. He's a great guy, he's super nice, and totally

dependable; another one of the people that make Hogwarts such a great place "hey Collin, I'm great, glad to be back,

summer was a bit slow you know? And at least we have no O.W.L's to worry about this year. How was your summer?".

O.W.L's were "outrageously wicked life-ruiners" okay so that's not their official name but it should be. Apparently the

letters really stand for "ordinary wizarding level" examinations but I think that's a misnomer. The name I dubbed for

them is much more fitting. During a student's 5th year at Hogwarts, you're forced to sit for the O.W.L's and they

basically determine what kind of job you'll get once out of Hogwarts. They require tons of studying and the teachers pile

on the H.W like no tomorrow all of 5th year in preparation for them. The only thing that could possibly be worse than

the O.W.L's would be the N.E.W.T's which were the tests the 7th years had to take, but thankfully I wouldn't have to

think about those until next year. "yea I know what you mean about the O.W.L's, you have no idea how glad I am that

they're over, although I bet you probably got like 10 O's or some other ridiculous number, what with all the crazy

studying you Remus, and Kimmy did" 11 actually. An O is the highest score you can get on an exam for the O.W.L's, for

any Hogwarts exam actually; it stands for outstanding. I just kind of laughed awkwardly and blushed I wasn't going to

tell him that, to be honest I didn't really know what to say to that, so I just shoved some mashed potato down my

throat, maybe he'd think I was just really hungry and couldn't wait another second before I had to take a bite. Oh god

he just laughed at me. Great Lily, get the one cute guy friend you have to think you're a total weirdo, good job.

Perfecto.

You're probably confused as to who Remus is. Well, Remus is another good friend of mine. His full name is Remus Lupin,

he's a rather thin boy, and he always looks a little tired, but he's one of the smartest and kindest people I know. I

actually have suspicions concerning Remus Lupin and why he always looks so tired. We were prefects together last year

and that's when I really started to form my theory. Back when Snape and I were still friends, He used to bombard me

with theories as to why Remus Lupin was sick all the time and why he always looked so tired. I never put much stock

into his theories, mostly because I wasn't interested in listening. I've always been friendly with Remus and I had no

interest in listening to Snape badmouth him constantly. One theory of Snape's however, stuck. I never admitted it to

him; it would have only fueled his need to share his theories with me, but I couldn't help but wonder. Snape was a

smart boy, a smart boy who noticed patterns. Why for instance, was Remus always sick on the full moon, and why did

he always come back with scars? All curious questions, and these questions made me wonder as well. Snape thought

Remus was a werewolf. I never told Snape that I put any stock into his theories, but I couldn't help but think he was on

to something. When Remus and I had to patrol together last year (the year we both became prefects) I started to

notice things as well, and I began to draw similar conclusions. I have never shared my suspicions with a single soul, and

it truly makes no difference to me. I have no reason to fear Remus, as long as I don't go gallivanting around the

Hogwarts grounds during a full moon, Remus poses no threat to me. To be perfectly honest, I think I could take Remus

in a fight any other time besides a full moon, just because he's incapable of hurting anyone or anything. Who he

chooses to associate with however, is a different story. Remus is part of a popular group of 4 boys, the other three being

Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and James Potter. If the typical Hogwarts girl would consider Collin Specs to be pretty cute,

they would consider James Potter and Sirius Black to be gods among men. They are fawned over by most of the female

population, and largely respected by many of the males of Hogwarts. They're considered funny, outrageous, rugged,

gorgeous, and brilliant. But it's a matter of taste. For instance, some people like chocolate Ice cream, and some people

want to crush it under their feet, spit on it, and then throw it at a wall. Okay so I don't hate them that much, but I just

think they're over rated. Aside from all those other qualities, I sometimes feel I'm the only one who notices how mean,

cocky, and annoying they also are. Except I'm sure the victims of their pranks also recognize those same attributes, and

yes I mean victims. James Potter is tall, slender but built, and handsome. He has a strong jaw line and messy black hair

that he's always trying so hard to make even messier. He has hazel eyes and wears thick square glasses, that he some

how, obnoxiously, makes very attractive. Sirius Black is also tall and slender, though slightly more built, with dark

shaggy hair and grey eyes. Sirius is also ridiculously good looking, and the two of them are the ringleaders of their little

group. The last member is Peter Pettigrew. I feel kind of bad for Peter a lot of the time. He's obviously loved by his

friends but unlike Potter, Black, or even Remus (who is handsome in a quieter way), he's not remotely attractive. He's

short and a bit chubby with mousy brown hair and small watery brown eyes. He's not funny or smart like his friends but

I suppose they all get along. For what it's worth, he seems to be happy. The 4 of them call themselves the

Maurauderers, and the name stuck. They constantly pull pranks, and if there's a party, it's cause they threw it.

"OYE EVANS" ugh. And that was James Potter. I forgot to mention something about James Potter. He has this idea in

his head that we would somehow make a good couple, and he's been asking me out almost weekly since 4th year. I

don't remember how or why it started, but one day he just decided he'd ask me out. Now usually if James Potter asks

you out, you say yes, but I did not say yes; he has apparently still not let this go. I don't even think the Boy likes me

honestly, I really just think he can't stand the fact that there's _somebody_ out there who doesn't find him appealing.

Really though, why he thought I would go out with him after he tortured one of my best friends since first year is

beyond me. Okay so remember when I told you about my ex friend Severus Snape? Well now is time for a quick

version of that story. Severus and I came to school together already having been friends. He lived in the town over and

he was the one after all, who told me about being a witch. Severus though got sorted into Slytherine, Slytherine house

has a bit of a nasty reputation, and for good reason (not that everybody in Slytherine is bad). Potter, along with Black,

hated Severus right away and began bullying him from day one. The feud never ended. Sure Severus started with them

sometimes too, but they were really the ones that started it. So naturally I was never any of their biggest fans. As the

years went by, Severus began hanging out with some shady people from Slytherine, people who thought they were

better than me or anyone like me because they were "pure bloods" which means that both their parents were wizards

and came from long lines of wizarding families. The people he was associating with were dangerous and cruel and we

started drifting apart because of it. It was one day, after one of our last O.W.L's last year though, that everything fell

apart. Potter and Black were picking on Severus as per usual, but this time when I came to defend him, Potter tried to

strike a deal with me. He told me he'd leave Severus alone if I would go out with him. I think that was too much for

Severus to bear (I always had a sneaking suspicion he might have more than friendly feelings for me, and my friends

had always thought so too) and he snapped. I really don't think he meant to say it, but whether it was intentional or

not he said it. He shouted at me that he didn't need help from a "a mudblood like me". A mudblood is a really foul name

you can call someone like me, whose parents are both muggles, and that's where I drew the line. Our friendship ended

that day despite his pleading for me to forgive him, and even though it was Snape who said the words, I still resent

Potter for pushing poor Snape so far in the first place. I'm not quite as angry as I was before the summer, and Potter did

apologize, but I'm still pretty put out with him, and I'm not exactly his biggest fan on even the best days.

"_what _potter? _Must_ you holler at me across the table like that? Next to me, jenny giggled, she knew my lack of

tolerance when it came to Potter. "what? A guy can't say hello to a beautiful redhead on a fine evening like tonight?" I

snorted into my potato, he was so full of it.

"do you have something you actually want to talk about potter, or are you just pestering me as per usual?"

"awee still sore about old snivellus? C'mon Evans I said I was sorry, let me make it up to you, how bout I _don't_ ask you

out for a whole….2 weeks" hmm. That was a new one. I have to say he surprised me with that, usually he'd offer to

make it up to me by taking me out on a date, and in turn I'd throw something at him. I didn't really know what to

respond to that. I saw Black and Pettigrew look up in surprise, and I saw Remus smile into his pumpkin juice. Hmm.

Very strange indeed. "umm…okay?" I responded stupidly. "excellent, pass the gravy will you" Potter responded. Yes,

very strange indeed. I decided I'd talk to Lupin about talking with the Head boy and girl about prefect schedules. Remus

and I were the 6th year Gryffindor prefects now. This year's Head boy was a Ravenclaw (another Hogwarts House)

named Fabian Prewett, and the Head girl was a slytherine girl named Alecto Carrow, Fabian was nice enough, but I was

not looking forward to monthly meetings with Carrow, she was such a nasty peace of work, I had no idea how the two

of them were going to get anything done without killing each other.

"Hey Remus, good summer?"

"Yeah, it was decent, you?" he responded kindly.

"yeah it was pretty good, do you want to talk to Fabian later and get a head start on which days we want to work?"

"yeah sounds good, we can talk to him later this week" I just nodded and smiled, and then turned to Kimmy and Jenny.

"I always forget how big the portions are here and I always over eat the first night back, my stomach is already cursing

my mouth".

"same I ate a ridiculous amount of food, ill have to live off dry lettuce for the next week to make up for it" complained

Kimmy. Jenny and I just shook our heads at her, there was really no point in arguing with her anymore. That's another

thing I forgot to mention about Kimmy. She's thin as a rail but she watches every little thing she eats. In that way, and

in that way _only_, she reminds me so much of petunia. It doesn't matter how many times Jenny and I tell her how she'd

still be skinny even if she ate a bit more, she refuses to believe it. Sick in the head that one.

"Hey Lily, do you want to start rounding up the first years to bring them to the dorms? I think things are pretty much

wrapping up now" Remus called over to me. Oh right. Drat. I forgot I'd have to get all the first years up to the dorms first.

"sure, lets start now, I'm exhausted, the sooner I get to bed the better" Remus and I began rounding up the first years

then, and I told Kimmy and Jenny I'd meet them in our room. It took forever, I swear I was not that stupid myself as a

first year. Of course I was outwardly patient and all smiles, but really c'mon how hard is it to turn left when I tell you to

turn left, honestly the boy was 11, he should know his left from his right. Parents these days. Doing headcounts are the

worse, I swear the first years get smaller and smaller each year, and they don't quit squirming. They just kind of blend

together in a big mush of twitchy limbs and nervous smiles. When we finally got everybody settled, and I headed up to

bed myself, Kimmy and Jenny were already in bed with the curtains drawn. Whatever. Losers. I wasn't really mad

though, I probably would have done the same thing, and we'd have plenty of time to talk at breakfast. For now though,

I was dead on my feet, I got into bed and enveloped myself in the familiar smell and feel of the crisp Hogwarts bed

sheets. God I missed this place. I drifted off too happy thoughts of the run I'd go for in the morning and the image of

the bacon and eggs that would await me when I got back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note:**** Hello everyone! okay so with my first chapter, i added a space between all the lines once i uploaded it, but that was a bit tiresome, and my friend told me there's a way for the reader to space out the story on their own? if you prefer how i did it for the first chapter vs. this chapter let me know. Some actual Lily/James interaction will take place this chapter so thats good! i hope you enjoy, please send me your thoughts, even if it's just a word or two, good or bad. (:**

**Chapter 2**

It was my first morning officially back at school, which meant it was my first Hogwarts run of the semester. One of the many, if not one of the more trivial things, that I love about Hogwarts is the land around it; I so much prefer running here than back home. Somehow I find the natural beauty of the rolling hills, the glossy black lake, the forbidden forest, and Hagrid's hut a more scenic route to run past than the uniform suburban homes and occasional car of my hometown. My friends think I'm totally nuts that I willingly wake up at 5:00 am to go on my hour long run and then go back to our dormitory to shower and be dressed and ready for breakfast, but it works for me. It's not just that I'm trying to stay in shape or something, honestly I've always been on the trim side no matter what I eat, same for both my parents and my sister(even though my sister constantly and unnecessarily watches what she eats) it's just that it helps me clear my head and reflect on my past day, and helps me plan for the next one, its like my little time that I have just for myself.

I was just coming down the path by the lake (my old resting point from last year) when I realized how much I missed Hogwarts. I love home, and I love my parents, but with all the drama I have with Petunia and her stupid new boyfriend Vernon (who I secretly call vermin) I have to say I'm glad to be back at Hogwarts with all my friends and every other comfort that Hogwarts brings me. I was panting a lot, It always takes me a good week or two before I'm used to running up and down these hills, but just when I reached down to splash some of the lake water in my face I heard a noise; a kind of hushed gasping from behind me. I looked around and I was really confused for a moment because nobody that I could see was there, when a thought struck me.

You see, back in second year, I was a nosy little thing. Okay I'm still pretty nosy, but nothings wrong with a healthy curiosity! Anyway, back in second year I was, shockingly, getting annoyed with James potter and his friends. How was it, that they always pulled off stunts that anybody else would get caught for. I knew they came back to Gryffindor tower way after curfew so many times, I just didn't know how they did it without being caught! I had no idea how they pulled so many pranks without getting into trouble. My friends got tired of listening to me ponder their tactics and they used to try to tell me how they got in trouble all the time, but they didn't understand. Sure they got in trouble, but out of all the stuff they pulled they probably only got caught on 20% of what they did. Try as I might to ignore it, I was secretly awed by their talent. One night I decided I would figure out just how they were doing it. I heard them talking in the library about how they were going to go out to do some thing or other that night ,I don't even remember what it was now, and I heard Remus complain about how tired they would be the next morning after getting in that late. I decided I'd wait in the common room that night and I'd hide behind the sofa (I wasn't advanced enough for disillusionment charms at the time) until they came in, and I'd learn their secret. Well I waited for hours and hours, okay it was 2 hours, but it felt like a life time until I finally heard the portrait swing open and I heard their whispering. I was really confused because I couldn't see where they were, until finally I saw something slivery looking get pulled off them and out of thin air they appeared; all 4 of them looking quite pleased with themselves might I add. Pettigrew was giggling quite loudly to Remus about something. "Be quiet will you Wormtail!, at least try to act like you've done this sort of thing before, yeah?" Black hissed at him. "hear prongs take your cloak before some prefect comes sniffing about, wondering what we're doing down here fully dressed" He said to Potter. Potter stuffed the cloak in his bag and once they all went up the stairs to the boy's dormitories, I finally retired to bed myself. Since that night I've known how the 4 of them get around the castle in secret so much, but I've never told anybody, which I'm sure they'd be surprised about. I never told a teacher because honestly, it was none of my business and its not like other kids don't break the rules, so what they have a cool way to do it? My problem with those boys has nothing to do with Jame's Potter's invisibility cloak. It's not that I didn't consider telling my friends about it either, but honestly I was a bit embarrassed that I cared enough to stake them out and figure out what they were doing.

So anyway, as I was looking around me by the lake I realized, it's probably Potter or maybe Black (I bet black is the only one he would let use the cloak without him) under the cloak, and I'd bet my left hand that whoever of the two it was, he was sitting on the rock directly behind me. Now normally I would just pretend I didn't hear anything and walk away, but whoever it was sounded like they were crying. I cant really picture either Potter or Black crying but I had no idea who else it could be, I also don't particularly care for either of them but what kind of person would I be, if I left them alone when they were truly upset. I decided I'd just suck it up and say something. "Potter? Is that you? Or maybe Black I don't know, …" I said quietly into the "empty" air. Nobody answered and I was just starting to feel really stupid, I mean who knows maybe it was some animal that I heard, or maybe I'm just totally crazy, but my inner ramblings were cut short when I heard "No, you were right, it's me" from the direction of the rock. And sure enough I saw the cloak being pulled off and the unmistakable head of messy black hair, that everybody who has ever met Potter knows to associate him with, emerged. Then the rest of his form came into view and sitting before me, holding a silvery grey, invisibility cloak, was a very puzzled, and sad looking James Potter. "How the _hell _did you know I was here?" he said to me in a very confused, and slightly husky(from crying I suspected) voice. "well you're the only person I know with an invisibility cloak and I thought I heard…something" I was going to say crying but I didn't want to make things awkward. Right lily, cause they're not already. "yeah but how did you know I have an invisibility cloak? I didn't know anybody knew, except Sirius, Remus, and Peter of course." "well…" I started. Damn, lily, why would you start this, how are you going to get out of this one? Bloody hell , I'll just tell the boy the damn truth, I was young what do I care what he thinks of me. " If you want to know the truth I've known since 2nd year; you and your friends are really not as conspicuous as you think you are". A defensive edge was coming into my voice now; I could see the look of shock on his face.

"_what_? Since _2__nd__ year_? And you never told on us? How'd you figure it out? Do you think other people know?...nah someone would have asked us, wait why didn't you say anything? And-" I cut him off there, he sounded like he was going to go on forever. "Well potter, if you must know, I was curious how you and your friends were getting around the castle after ours without getting caught and how you were puling all you're pranks, and _before you cut me off_, NO it was NOT just so I could get you all into trouble, I was simply curious, so I stayed In the common room one night and I heard you guys coming in, you were actually quite loud, and I saw Black say it was your cloak and hand it to you. I have to say your stunts were a lot less impressive once I realized you guys had an invisibility cloak to help you out." He had this stupid smirk spreading across his face now and I just knew he was about to say something obnoxious, and of course he did not disappoint. "wait, so you're saying _you_, lily Evans, prefect extraordinaire, thought _I,_ prankster extraordinaire, James potter, was impressive?" ugh. Figures. "careful potter or that head of yours wont fit under that cloak any longer. I said I thought the _pranks_ were impressive, not you, and emphasis on the past tense, I told you, once I found out about the cloak, I didn't even think the pranks were that special any more". He looked slightly put out at that but I've learned from past experience that insults just bounce off of James Potter, or maybe they get caught in his hair, hmm…James talking interrupted that train of thought "still though, I can't believe you never ratted us out!" Ugh how typical. "Really James just because you make fun of me for being a prissy little tattle tale doesn't mean its true. Why should I rat you out? It's not any of my business and some of you're pranks are amusing, when you're not trying to ruin your victims lives".

" wow dramatic much Evans? ""ruin people's lives"" really now. Its just a little bit of fun".

"I wouldn't call what you do to some people, just a little bit of fun"

"okay well that's _some_ people" I knew we both had Snape in mind.

"whatever Potter, I'm not getting into this old argument now. Can we just drop it"

"yeah, yeah, believe it or not Evans, I actually didn't come out hear at 5:30 in the morning to pick a fight with you" Right. Focus Lily, you think he was crying, fighting with him might not be the best tactic to make him feel better. "yea about that, um, are you okay? You sounded, um a little, upset from what I could hear".

"yeah I'm fine. I've been better I guess . Nothing you need to worry about though" ughhh what to do, what to do. I really don't want to waste my morning run and reflection time listening to what ever is bugging _James Potter_, but then again on the other hand, I did always consider myself to not be _completely _awful, and I know it will just bug me the rest of the day if I don't ask him what's wrong now. Ugh I can't believe I'm about to have a heart to heart with James Potter. Well here goes… "You know James, if you, uh, wanna talk about it, I'm um, not doing anything. I mean sometimes it's nice to unload on somebody that doesn't really have a biased view of the situation or something, I don't know, I mean or I guess you could just sit here, and um I could just uh, finish my run or something, or..." great now I was rambling. Well he didn't seem to be saying anything, and I really would like to finish my run…"right…so um, ill just …" I began to get up to leave but then he spoke. "actually I just got a letter, that well, my grandfather died". Shit! What do I say to that? "you don't have to say anything, I know that's an awkward thing to answer to, it's just , it sucks you know? I mean I knew he was sick, I visited him in the hospital the whole summer, I knew it was happening, its just weird that it finally happened. It's kind of surreal you know?"

"yeah, I know what you mean. I felt like that when my grandma died" he looked like he was about to say something so I stopped him before he could "it was along time ago, so there's no need to apologize, I'm just telling you I know how it feels. It's really awful, and you keep feeling like you'll see them again, or you'll run to tell them something again, and then you realize they're gone".

"exactly" he said.

"it lasts a while, I'm not gunna lie, well at least it did for me, but it does get better…James" I tripped over his first name a little and he looked up in shock, but I figured this wasn't the kind of conversation for surnames. "time really does make things better, and you'll get to the point where you feel like you can remember them in a happy way"

" I wish I felt like that now" he sounded so heartbroken. I've never seen potter seem so, well, depressed before. I've seen him happy, I've seen him excited, I've seen him in pain, I've even seen him angry, but I've never seen him so unguarded and well, sad. I know it was strange but I kind of missed that little flair in his eyes he usually had, I didn't like seeing Potter so down. "well…why don't you tell me about him? Tell me a really funny memory you have with him, or just something you know about him, something good to remember him by". He thought for a second and then he smiled and said "well, he bought me my first broom, my mom was so pissed." I wanted to keep him talking "really? How did that happen?"

"well my dad was away for work (he's an aurror), and my mom was completely against me flying until I was old enough to go to Hogwarts. She thought it was too dangerous. I was complaining to my grandpa about it and he took me to Diagon Alley and bought me an actual broom stick, not the best model mind you, but I was a kid, I was a boy, and it was a broom, lets just say I was very happy" I started to smile at the expression on his face, I could just imagine, little Potter sneaking behind his mother's back to buy a broomstick with his grandfather. "well we took it home and he started teaching me how to ride it that after noon, when my mother got home she flipped a shit of course, she was so mad, but it was the best day of my life" I felt myself getting sucked into his story, he was so animated when he spoke, using his arms and such, it was kind of amusing. I found myself asking him more questions, and not even to keep him talking, I was genuinely curious, it was quite disturbing. "what did your dad do when he got home?"

"oh my dad got such a kick out of it, he just started laughing, got my mother even crazier too, but he talked her down" He was full out grinning now, I know it was strange but I was sort of proud I was able to make Potter happy again after he had been so down, its probably cause I hate losing, and failing to get potter out of his mood would have been loosing.

"shit we should probably get back, if we don't want to miss breakfast" bloody hell, he was right, and I still had to shower, ugh definitely missing breakfast today, figures James Potter would find some way to ruin my first morning back, although, if I were to be truly honest with myself, it really wasn't such a bad morning, I almost had…dare I say it…fun? Strange. Hopefully my current loss of sanity would be temporary because I was clearly delusional if I was choosing quality time with potter over Hogwarts bacon and eggs.

"yeah, well we're both heading towards the great hall then? " he awkwardly said as he got up and stuffed his cloak back into his bag. I think I've had enough potter for one morning, one conversation and I was already starting to find him funny? No it was time to part ways. "um actually I have to go back to the dormitory to shower and stuff anyway so I, guess ill see you in class?" he looked kind of let down at that for a moment but I think I must have imagined it because a second later his usual smirk (albeit a bit more melancholy than usual) was back "haha sure Evans, see you in class, try not to miss me to much, I can't afford to spend every morning with just you, the other kids will get jealous" he winked at me as he said it too. The audacity of this boy, honestly! I just wasted MY morning run/reflection time, listening to HIS problems, and here he is acting like he had to pencil me in his oh so busy schedule or something. And this Lily, is what you get for being nice to James Potter. Just when I was starting to think his head had deflated just a tiny bit from last year, he goes and proves me wrong. Well at least he's consistent. I could feel the scowl on my face, and it only intensified when he started laughing at my expression.

"you're so easy Evans. For what its worth though I think its pretty cool you never ratted us out, even to the other kids. Major props Red." Ugh so we're back to the ever, clever nicknames fueled by my hair, really he was ingenious. I guess for him that was a complement though so I attempted a smile. I think it probably looked more like a grimace. He started chuckling again as he headed up back to the castle. I turned around to take a different route back, that was closer to Gryffindor Tower, when he called me again "oh yea, and thanks for listening, before, you know, about my grandpa?" he sounded kind of embarrassed and if there's one thing he shouldn't be embarrassed about its wanting to talk about his dead grandfather, I figured I could at least end with him on a civil note. "yea don't mention it" I think I gave him a real smile this time. "Right….well thanks, …Lily" he sort of smiled when he said it like he was testing it out, and I have to say it was kind of a shock to my system. We turned and walked back then, and I don't know what he was thinking about but I kept replaying the way he said my name over and over again in my head. Hmm I wasn't so sure how I felt about him using my first name, but I guess it's only fair, considering I called him James. I'd have to think more about that one. I realized with a bit of a shock that my feet had just carried me back to the common room as I walked through the door, still pondering the entire encounter, when it occurred to me. That was the first actual conversation that I'd had with James Potter after going to school with him for 6 years. I mean sure we've bickered, and he's hit on me loads of times, and made fun of me just as often, but I realized I had this idea about who he was in my mind this whole time without ever really having spoken to him, and now that I have, I didn't know what to think. It was all very strange, it's probably because I didn't eat breakfast this morning. The lack of protein is making me loopy. I was still considering potter though even as I made my way back down stairs after my shower. Strange.


	3. Chapter 3

**Aut****hor's Note:** **Well nobody told me which type of spacing they preferred, so i'm going to keep it like this until somebody does. Thank you to the anonymous person who reviewed! I hope you all enjoy Chapter 3(:**

**Chapter 3**

By the time I skidded into the great hall, with wet hair from my shower, and my tie hanging round my neck, breakfast was just finishing up. McGonagall was almost done handing out the schedules when I reached her. "Ahh miss Evans, I was just looking for you; I look forward to seeing you today in N.E.W.T level transfiguration. I was happy to see you got an O on your O.W.L despite your struggling with the human transfigurations last quarter; I knew you could do it with the right amount of studying." I didn't really know what to say to that; I loved Professor McGonagall but she always makes me nervous, and out of all my classes I struggled the most in hers. Something with transfiguration really just doesn't click with me

"Thank you professor, I'm looking forward to your class as well".

"yes well the material is only going to get harder miss Evans, I would not have placed you in N.E.W.T level if I did not think you could handle it, but if you were struggling with the material last year, I would say you're going to have to put in double the effort to keep up this year if you plan on receiving your usual grades. I am quite confident you can do it, but perhaps you could look into a tutor if it gets to be too much with your other classes?" A tutor? I know it sounds horribly pretentious but I have never had to have a _tutor_ before and it's a bit embarrassing. I know its nothing to be ashamed of, but usually I'm the one tutoring other kids, hopefully it wouldn't come to that but there's no way I'd let her question putting me in her class; if it came to it I suppose I would have to let my pride take a hit and just sign up for extra help.

"sure Professor, that sounds great, I'll definitely look into it if I feel myself struggling" I adopted my polite teacher smile and kept it plastered to my face.

"very well then, good day miss Evans." She walked away after that and I breathed a sigh of relief. I checked my schedule quickly; today was going to suck. I had double Herbology with the Slytherine's first and second, then I had Transfiguration with the Ravenclaw's. After lunch I had Muggle Studies(I know what you're thinking, why on earth would a muggle born take muggle studies? Well I like seeing how the wizarding world views muggles, I find it really interesting. Yes I'm aware I'm a nerd; sue me.) and then I would end the day with charms. Well at least I would get one good class, charms is always fun, Professor Flitwick is a doll, and charms is fascinating yet not too difficult. Overall though, Mondays seemed like they were going to be brutal this year. Looking further down my schedule I saw I wouldn't have potions until Wednesday! Potions is my absolute favorite class, plus it doesn't hurt that Professor Slughorn adores me. It's my best subject and it has been since my first year here; Slughorn is the head of Slytherine but I'm by far his favorite student. I realize how arrogant and annoying I sound but trust me, even the other teachers know that Slughorn loves me. Sometimes it's a bit annoying actually, he's always stopping to chat with me and I'm often called a teacher's pet by some of the nastier kids from slytherine. Overall though, I do enjoy Slughorn, he's a good guy and he's a brilliant Potioneer. At least I would get to have Defense against the Dark Arts Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday; defense is most people's favorite class, and it's one of mine; it's usually really exciting, and (like potions) one of the more hands on classes. The plus and downside to Defense is that it's often interactive, which means you're often relying on other's aside from yourself; this sucks if your partner isn't good, another interesting thing about defense is that for some reason, we always get a new professor every year; I was curious to see who this year's professor would be. I scanned the list down to Friday and saw that my astronomy class would be Friday night this year; score! At least I would be able to get some sleep this year. Last year I had Astronomy on Thursday night; god what a disaster that was; every Friday morning I was exhausted. Astronomy is a class that only takes place at around midnight considering it's all about looking at the stars. Another good thing about this year's schedule was that I'd never have to suffer through a double History of Magic; Last year I only had History of Magic two days a week which was good, but they were double periods both days. Double History of Magic should be a form of torture, I wouldn't be surprised if Voldemort began using it as a form of punishment. Dear god, have I not mentioned Voldemort yet?

Okay so basically Lord Voldemort (or as most people refer to him; "He who must not be named"; which I think is really stupid) is basically the biggest asshole to ever walk the face of the planet. I don't want to make light of it though, he's actually incredibly dangerous. He's a coldhearted murderer, but he's an incredibly powerful coldhearted murderer with too many followers to not be considered a problem. Voldemort is a wizard who started this movement all about purifying the wizarding world. He believes that purebloods are the only witches and wizards of value and that the closer you are to being a muggle, the lower your value is. His followers are called death eaters, and I can name a few people from Slytherine House who I can guarantee want to become death eaters when they graduate. Some of the people Snape hangs out with for sure, and If I'm being honest with myself, I'm sure Snape is headed in that direction as well. People are afraid to call him by his name but I think it was probably Voldemort who started all that "he who must not be named" nonsense. Honestly it invokes more fear than just saying Voldemort, and it would be pretty smart of him to create mass hysteria over his name alone. It actually infuriates me though, I mean what chance do we have of fighting him if we can't even say his name? pathetic. As I was contemplating Voldemort I was absently scanning down the rest of my schedule when I realized what all these empty slots were throughout my week; I almost forgot; 6th years have free periods! _Yes_, yes, I know I'm going to be using them to study more often than not, but no matter what, it's better than my horrid 5th year schedule, I mean at least I'll _have_ periods off to study this year, and at least for the first week or two I'll be able to use some of them for free time.

Looking around the great hall I noticed most of my friends were already gone, and neither Jenny, nor Kimmy were anywhere to be found. I figured it was probably a good time to start heading to class. I saw Collin walking up the steps out of the great hall but when I waved at him he avoided my eye contact. Hmm that was strange, I wonder what that was about? I'm sure he just didn't see me; it's not like him to ignore me. I guess I'd be walking to the outdoor greenhouses alone then. That was what was annoying about Herbology; at least it was still warm right now; when winter comes, everyone dreads trekking through the snow to get to the greenhouses. Professor Sprout is the new Herbology teacher; she came here 2 years ago and she's pretty cool about most things but if you complain about getting out to the greenhouses on cold days she has zero tolerance. I think she takes it as a personal insult to her field of education. Overall though Herbology is not a terrible class, but any class with the slytherines' is always a pain, especially ones with sharp, poisonous plants around.

"LILY, _HEY_ LILY!" I turned at the sound of my name being called, and was met with the round, happy face of Gwenog Jones. Gwenog (or as most people call her Gwen) is a fellow Gryffindor, although she's a 5th year, and also someone I know from my slug club meetings. Right so I'm going to stop right there. The slug club is not a club dedicated to the appreciation of our friendly mollusk friends; it is in fact, a club that Professor Slughorn put together, comprised of all his favorite students. I know what you're thinking…is that any better? And before you judge me to harshly the answer is yes! Some of the parties are actually really fun, and Slughorn always has great entertainment, food, and he makes great connections for us based on which direction we want our various careers to take. Plus I have met a lot of great people from my slug club meetings; Gwen included. "hey Gwen! What's up? How was your summer?"

"ahh it was great, I have been practicing my beating all summer, so hopefully James will be pleased" Another thing about Gwen is that she was a wicked beater for the Gryffindor Quiditch team. Quiditch is the single most popular wizarding sport by far; it's a game played on broom sticks with 7 players: the keeper, who guards the goal posts from letting the quaffle in; the 3 chasers, who try to shoot the quaffle into the goal posts; the 2 beaters, who try to hit bludgers at the other team's players with beater's bats; and the seeker, who try's to catch the golden snitch for 150 points and to end the game. There are some quiditch fans/players in the school, who live, breathe, think, and eat, quiditch, while some people (myself included) are just fans who like to catch a game now and then. Gwen is one of the insane fans; her whole life is quiditch. Potter and his friends are also of the insane variety as are most boys. Potter is the captain of the Gryffindor Quiditch team, hence her wanting to please him. Although I suspect that she might have ulterior motives for wanting to make potter happy; I have always thought she's had a bit of a thing for Potter, but then again most of the girls in the school do. Gwen's a pretty girl, with her dark smooth skin, and large almond eyes, but she's also a bit burly from all the batting practice she needs in order to be a serious beater. I've never seen Potter take a particular interest in Gwen, but she's also a good friend of his. I think she'd have to take things a bit farther out of the friend zone though if she'd ever want to seriously date him.

"I'm sure he will be; you were bloody brilliant last year, and after a whole summer of practice how could you not be amazing?" It was true; Gwen is one of the best beaters Hogwarts has ever seen. She smiled Brilliantly at me "well I'm off to care of Magical Creatures, and you know how Kettleburn is about_ tardiness_ I best be off! See you around Red" It appears Gwen is another one who has picked up Potter's nickname for me; probably since she's around him so much for quiditch. Quiditch is probably one of the main reasons Potter is so full of himself; this is his 2nd year as captain and he lead the Hogwarts team to victory last Year. He's an outstanding chaser; the best in the school by far, but he's completely aware of this, which is what makes him so obnoxious.

When I got to greenhouse 6 I immediately placed my bag by Jenny and Kimmy's bags and proceeded to avoid eye contact with Snape for the entire lesson; I was pretty successful. I believe he tried to catch my eye once or twice, to apologize yet _again_ I'm sure, but I refused to even tilt my chin in his direction. Herbology passed by in a blur, as did the rest of my day; most of the teachers just introduced the topics we'd be covering this year or had us start off with a simple task. Almost nobody assigned any significant Homework since it was only the first day, and most of the students were too busy greeting their friends from other houses after a long summer apart. Soon enough It was time for dinner and I was determined to seek out Collin Specs. Collin you see, had been avoiding me all day long. This morning was not just a figment of my imagination, or a mistake on his part, I am quite certain it was deliberate. Collin and I both signed up for Muggle studies last year because he thinks it would be good for the job he wants in the ministry, and like I said, I find the wizard's perspective of muggle's fascinating. The class however, has always been a blow off class for us; we pay attention when something is interesting, but overall the material is fairly simple (especially for me of course) and I just tell him what he needs to know before any tests. Jenny and Kimmy opted out of taking Muggle studies because they wanted care of magical creatures, so I figured I'd be sitting next to Collin again. When I came into the class however, he just completely avoided me and sat on the opposite side of the room next to some hufflepuff boy, notorious for his bad breath. Obviously something was up. I had no idea what it could be considering we hadn't even had much time to talk and he seemed perfectly friendly during the feast on the first night, but I was determined to find out what I could have possibly done to piss him off. So it was with rapt attention that I entered the great hall for dinner, trying to find Collin to work whatever was going on, out. To my_ utter_ surprise though, Collin was somehow nowhere to be found anywhere within the great hall. I even checked to see if he was sitting by bad breath Benjy over at the Hufflepuff table but he was definitely not in the Great Hall. I would have to figure it out after dinner then; he couldn't avoid me forever. I located Jenny and Kimmy and sat next to them, determined to keep an eye out for Collin. Across from us were Potter, Black, Remus, and Pettigrew, who were talking animatedly about some prank they were planning to pull on the slytherines. I pretended not to notice, as I really did not want to have to reprimand them(I am a prefect you know). Potter looked up when I sat down and gave me a small smile; really just a slight curling up of his lips on one side, but I think it was meant to be in thanks of our talk this morning. I appreciated it all the same and couldn't help but notice that when There was no malice behind it, or a mocking spark in his eyes, Potter actually had a pretty nice smile.

"_Oh my god_ our new Defense Teacher is _amazing" _exclaimed Alice Prewett, as she took her seat next to her steady boyfriend Frank Longbottom. Alice and Frank have been the "it" couple of Hogwarts for 2 years now. They're both 7th years but they're both really nice and smart; they're the kind of people that _everybody_ likes. Alice was the first cousin to the head boy Fabian. Next to me, a fellow 6th year girl Marlene McKinnon asked "Really? What's he like?"

"Well first he seems super scary, because he like randomly calls on you and appears kind of angry, but he's really funny, and he seems super intelligent."

"I heard he used to be an aurror" Said Pettigrew; the "marauders" had momentarily dropped their conversation in order to hear about the new teacher.

"He was, my dad told me he retired the year my dad was hired" Said Potter. Alice nodded in agreement. "yea and he said that our next lesson he's going to divide us into pairs and "asses our dueling knowledge" She told us nervously.

"Don't sweat it Alice, you'll be brilliant, just like you are at everything else" That was Frank; Alice blushed lightly but she looked pleased.

"whipped man, you're so whipped" came the voice of Black, but he was smiling in a friendly way, like I said, nobody could dislike Frank or Alice. Dueling sounded pretty amazing to me; it was one of the things we never really touched on in any of our classes, but I was with Alice on being nervous about it, I mean what if I humiliated myself in front of the entire class? I'd have to read up a bit on dueling before my class tomorrow. I was about to add in to the conversation as now everybody was discussing what the new teacher was like, when I heard a throat clear behind me

"um Lily? Can I talk to you for a sec? I whirled around at the sound of Collin's Voice.

"yes of course, did you want to talk now?" Oh god, was he about to tell me what was up with him? I hope he was okay; I hope _we_ were okay, not that I've done anything to upset him…at least to my knowledge. By now the entire section of our table was staring at us, and I could feel my cheeks reddening

"yea...if that's okay? Could we maybe go outside the hall and talk?" He sounded so nervous! I was seriously starting to get freaked out.

I got up and followed his hastily retreating form out of the hall; I could feel eyes on my back and it was making me uncomfortable. "Collin? What's wrong? Did something happen?" I called to him once we were out of the Great hall. He turned around abruptly and rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "Listen Lily, um, there's something I've been uh meaning to ask you" His face was bright red now.

"what is it Collin? What's bugging you?"

"nothing's bugging me I just, um… I'm sorry I'm a little nervous" He cleared his throat again. Collin, was _nervous_…to talk to _me?_ What the hell?

"why are you nervous? You don't have to be nervous to tell me anything" I tried to smile reassuringly at him, but he just go even redder! I was seriously confused.

"well um, you know that uh I like you a lot, right Lily? I mean, I'm really glad we became friends last year, and you're one of the coolest girls I know" oh god, he sounded like, well like he was about to ask me out, either that or break up with me but considering we're not dating I doubt it's the latter. Be cool Lily, don't jump the gun! For all you know it could be something entirely different…

"yea, I'm really glad I met you too Collin, you're a really good friend of mine" uh oh, crap! Bloody word vomit, now he's going to think I just want to be friends. Wait do I just want to be friends? Do I even like Collin? Gahhh I'm so confused!

"yea well that's the thing. See, I think I'd um well like to be more than friends with you lily, if um that was, well, possible? If not it's uh totally cool, we can just you know pretend this never happened… or something". He looked like he was about to pass out. Ugh I wish I had more time to think about this! Think Lily, THINK!

"umm well you mean, like, boyfriend and girlfriend?" Great. Now he's going to think I'm a 5 year old or something. "Boyfriend and girlfriend" honestly I sound like such a little kid.

"um yes?" He stuttered anxiously. Well I didn't necessarily want to say _no_, I mean we get along really well, and he was pretty cute, decently intelligent, I mean I didn't want to say no and then regret it later, but I also wish I could find out if I even liked him like that first. The only other boyfriend I've had was in 4th year with a 6th year who graduated 2 years ago. It only lasted a couple of weeks and it was pretty much a disaster. Except for that I've only ever gone on a couple dates to Hogsmeade; it would be nice to actually have a boyfriend again though. Wait, that's it! Hogsmeade! I'd tell him we could try a date at Hogsmeade first and if it went well I could decide to date him after. "I'm not saying no Collin, because I think you're a really great guy, but I'd like to see how our dynamics are as a couple first before we jump into a relationship, you know? Plus this is all pretty sudden; maybe we could go on a date first?" I hoped I hadn't offended him, oh god this better not end horribly and ruin our friendship. I wish I was a lesbian. Actually no, because then that would make things awkward if I had a crush on Kimmy or Jenny or some other girl I'm friends with. Blarg. Now I'm rambling.

"A date? Yea that, that's a really good idea actually. Why didn't I think of that? I'm so stupid"

"You're not stupid Collin; just nervous" I smiled at him. "how a bout the first Hogsmeade weekend then; I believe it's in a few weeks"

"Yeah! That's a great idea, and I'm sorry I asked you so suddenly, and I'm sorry I was so weird today, but I was freaking out" He laughed nervously. "I figured I'd ask you on the first night because I'm sure tons of guys will start asking you out by the time Hogsmeade rolls around; I had to get there first!" Awww, that was so cute! He's so sweet; utterly ridiculous, but sweet.

"you're crazy, since when are guys asking me out? You get hit on by way more girls than I do by guys"

"Not true at all! Loads of guys asks you out; you're the coolest girl in school, you're funny, smart, and beautiful" okay so I'm having such a girl moment right now but honestly, that was so cute. Strange though at the same time, I mean Collin's my friend, I'm not used to him being so flirtatious, damn though, boy can lay on the charm.

"aw thanks Collin! That's so sweet". I could actually feel the blood rushing to my cheeks; I'm sure they were crimson by now.

"yea no problem" he was rubbing his neck again; I think it's a nervous habit. We both kind of stood there awkwardly for a moment before we both started talking at the same time.

"well I should go finish dinner" "well I'd better head back to the library" We laughed awkwardly again; dear god our date better be a little smoother than this otherwise, I'd know Collin would have to be strictly friend territory.

"right well, see you later Lily"

"Bye Collin". I basically ran away after that; oh my god that was so awkward. I felt kind of floaty and happy at the same time though, so maybe I _didn't_ make the wrong decision.

As I headed back to the table I forgot to school my expression to make it appear neutral and immediately my friends new something was up. Kimmy was smiling knowingly at me and Jenny had a wolfish grin on her face. "He _totally_ just asked you out; and if you try to deny it ill stab you with this fork" That was jenny. Subtle she was not. I just ignored her and spooned some rice onto my plate.

"Oh my god! Lily! Jenny's right; he totally asked you out!" That was Marlene. God couldn't she see I did not want to talk about it, and I don't even know her well enough to yell at her. A bunch of the boys close by starting "oohing" and Black even leaned across the table to pinch my cheeks "look her face matches her hair now!" God he Is so annoying! "alright, alright leave the girl alone; let her have her secrets" that was Alice; thank god for that girl. "screw secrets; spill Lilly!" and that was Kimmy. I hate my friends.

"It was nothing; he might have intimated that he had feelings for me, and we're going to go to Hogsmeade together" I've learned over the course of my years at Hogwarts, that with _my _friends, it's easier to just give in early before they force it out of you at a less opportune time. Plus it wasn't like I was embarrassed about it per say; it's just I didn't want to announce anything when I wasn't quite sure what was going on myself ; ah whatever, they'd find out by the Hogsmeade trip anyway.

"Congrats Lils! Wait… I didn't even know you had a thing for Collin" that was Jenny again.

"that's the thing, I'm not sure if I do either, but Collin's really cool, and we get along great, so I figured I'd try it out."

"smart move lils, Collin's a total cutie and he's obviously in to you" Kimmy again.

"yea well, we'll see how our date goes; and seriously please don't harass him about it or anything; and DON'T go telling everybody like you did the last date I had"

We bickered back and forth playfully for a minute or two while people slowly began to file out of the Great Hall, to retire to their respective dormitories. Basically the hype over Collin asking me out died down by the time dinner was over and we moved on to other things. When I stood up however I noticed Potter looking quite stormy and talking heatedly with Remus. I'm not going to lie; I was curious, and I was wondering if maybe he was upset about his grandfather again or something? I wandered over to them with the excuse of having to ask Remus a question.

"Hey Remus, did you talk to Fabian at all?" Remus looked a bit nervous about me coming up to them, but then Potter turned around to face me and I was taken aback by his expression. He was sneering at me and his eyes were cold and angry. His lips were set into a straight line; nothing like the playful smile from earlier. "God Evans, can't you see we're having a conversation? Why don't you go be a bloody prefect somewhere else for a minute and let Remus talk to his friends" ouch. That hurt. And this is why I can't stand Potter. He's so mercurial! One minute we're getting along great and the next he's being a stupid Pratt again. "I'm pretty sure Remus can talk for himself _Potter_, but fine, ill leave, to go be a _"bloody prefect"_ up in my room; and the next time you want to talk; ask someone else!"

" I never asked to talk to you _Evans_. _You_ started talking to _me" _god he was infuriating! Any happiness I felt about Collin asking me out had completely evaporated and it was all Potter's fault. Remus grimaced apologetically at me, but it wasn't Remus I was mad at. I just turned on my heel and strode away; if Potter was going to be a git, it didn't have to involve _me_.

When I got upstairs and my friends asked me what was wrong, I just huffed at them and put on my pajamas in the bathroom after slamming the door. I really did not feel like getting into it and I'd apologize for my behavior in the morning. When I walked back into the room I saw Marlene, and the other 6th year girl Mary pouring over _Witch Weekly_ on Mary's bed, While Jenny and Kimmy were eyeing me furtively from Jenny's bed. I just ignored their looks and jumped into my bed and closed the curtains angrily. I knew I was acting like a snot, and I knew it wasn't there fault, but I just didn't feel like talking about it. I was surprised at myself though. I mean Potter and I get into spats all the time, and I'm always a little put out, sometimes even really pissed off, but for some reason his reaction really bothered me this time. Maybe it was because subconsciously I had begun to think he was finally changing, and he just proved me wrong with his reaction out there. As I calmed down I realized I was harboring another emotion too. I was not just angry and resentful; I was hurt. Potter _actually hurt_ my feelings this time. I wondered why it bothered me so much. It was probably just because his mood change was so sudden.

Sleep did not come easily that night, I twisted and turned in my bed sheets hours after hearing the soft snores of the girls around me; signifying that they had fallen asleep. I should have been giddy and slightly anxious about my upcoming date with Collin, and what the next day would bring; but instead I was mulling over what James _bloody _Potter said to me, while his angry sneer remained fixed behind my closed eyelids.

**Author's Note: sorry everybody about the Collin thing, but just remember, this _is_ a Lily/James fic so worry not! I'll try to update as fast as possible; bye for now! (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note:**** Hey everyone! sorry for the super late delay, this month has been beyond hectic. My updates will probably be a bit spaced out but I'm not giving this story up, don't worry! Thanks to the people who review, it really makes posting my story worth wile. Enjoy Chapter 4!**

**Chapter 4**

When I woke up for my run I was conflicted about where to go; I_ could_ take my normal route down by the lake, but that lead to potentially running into a certain tousle-haired Gryffindor chaser. After much internal debate, I finally decided that the lake was _my_ running spot first and if James Potter had an issue with me than he could sod off and find a new place to mope about.

Thankfully running into potter was not an issue as he was not down by the lake that morning, and my mental pep talk sounded much more confident than I really felt about running into him. To be perfectly honest, I was determined to avoid potter at all costs today.

When I got down to breakfast, I acted as normally as possible and I think my friends got the hint that I was not willing to discuss my sour mood from the night before; I vowed I would be extra nice to them all day to make up for my behavior last night and hopefully that would be enough of an apology.

It turned out I wouldn't have anything to worry about in regards to running into Potter, at least not until Defense 3rd period; he skipped breakfast altogether and showed up for transfiguration at the last possible minute.

I was also thoroughly distracted in the morning as Collin met me outside the great hall and walked me to transfiguration. My friends kept looking back furtively at me as he casually struck up a conversation with me and we fell behind the rest of the group; Jenny went as far as to wink, quite noticeably, at me but ill give it to Collin, he acted oblivious to their antics and he was really sweet yet not too intense.

He didn't offer to hold my books or any other ghastly couple-esque, thing. We didn't hold hands and he didn't even bring up our date, but It's not like I don't know that care of magical creatures is in the complete opposite direction of transfiguration and that he doesn't usually go out of his way to walk me to my classes, so even though he kept it on a friendly, slightly flirty, basis, I appreciated the effort.

We began human transfigurations today and needless to say I found it really difficult. It wasn't until the end of class that I managed to give Kimmy a snout whereas I had had my tail for nearly the entire lesson. Jenny couldn't manage it at all but that probably has more to do with the fact that she was flirting with her partner Amos Diggory instead of studying the theory.

What really bothered me about not mastering the spell however was despite the fact that Potter and Black were messing around the entire lesson, they both still managed to perfectly execute their human transfigurations; potter was strutting about the classroom with a pair of giant antlers, to the entire class's amusement of course, for nearly the whole period until McGonagall finally put an end to it.

Kimmy tried convincing me that there were plenty of kids who mastered the spell around the same time I did, and some even later but I still felt angry; the fact that Potter was always faster than me with transfiguration smarted.

Charms on the other hand was great; we started nonverbal spells and I had already practiced them with Remus the year before incase they showed up as an extra credit on our O.W.L. I pretty much spent the lesson helping my friends perfect theirs.

Remus came by my table once his friends got the hang of it and we practiced more advanced ones together. As he was nonverbally disarming me for the 2nd time, our conversation changed course. "Lilly, um about last night, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for, well" I cut him off before he could finish.

"Please Remus you didn't do anything wrong, god help me if I had to apologize for all the stupid stuff Jenny says"

He looked unsatisfied at my answer so I hastened to reassure him; truly it was not he who I was angry at. "Really Remus, I'm not angry with you, I never was".

It was at that moment that I saw Potter attempt to walk over towards us; Remus saw where I was looking and grimaced at me. "Listen lily about James, the thing you need to understand…" and that was my cue to leave, there was no way I was dealing with Potter right now. I cut him off and quickly came up with an excuse to leave.

"Listen Remus, great chatting with you but I really better get back over to Kimmy, she looks like she's not having much fun with McDonald over there" and indeed Kimmy really did appear to be barely containing cursing Mary, who was not known for her aptness at spell-work.

I'm pretty sure Remus saw through my flimsy excuse but he let it go and I quickly immersed myself into conversation with Mary about just how _lovely _her hair looked.

When charms finished we headed over to Defense and the class's anticipation for meeting the new professor was palpable.

We filed into the class and all took our seats but the Professor, Professor Bagnold was his name, was nowhere to be found. After 5 minutes he finally came into the room from his office that was above the classroom connected to a short set of stairs.

He was a grisly looking sort of man, stocky looking and average height and weight. He had black hair with copious grey mixed in and he had a bedraggled appearance and a fast gate. It was an overall slightly intimidating look.

"I apologize for holding you all up, I was filling out paperwork and I lost track of time. I am Professor Bagnold"

We all kind of just stared at him; he looked around the room and searched all our faces and then spoke again. 'Right well, this year we'll be doing a lot of partner work, a bit of dueling…" the class made noises of appreciation at that and he smirked at us. "Ah yes, you kids all seem to love dueling, we'll see how you feel after you've all been thrown on your backs on these stone floors a few times" nobody really knew what to say to that and it did not deter the class from being excited at the prospect of dueling, which we had always wanted to try.

He continued with his short speech "and, yes I know we all hate it, but we'll be doing some theory this year in preparation for your N.E.W.T's next year" The whole class predictably groaned at that, and he spent the rest of the lesson going over the list of topics we'd be covering that year.

I was trying to copy down all the things he was firing off when I felt something hit the back of my head. I ignored it thinking it was an accident. When I felt the sensation again I figured somebody wanted my attention.

I turned around and found a note on the floor next to me.

**Evans, sorry for hitting the back of your head but I figured if I sent the note right to your table you'd ignore it. Can I have a word after class?- Potter.**

Now based on past experience with Potter I've learned that ignoring his notes just leads to him chucking more of them at me, so I quickly scribbled a reply hoping Bagnold wouldn't notice.

**Potter, no you ****cannot**** have a word after class. Stop sending me notes.- Evans. **

I sent that back to him and only seconds later another note drifted down in front of me.

**Evans, I just want to apologize and I figured it would be better in person. Give me 2 minutes! –Potter**

Now he was starting to annoy me, first he was a prick last night, and now he's going to get me in trouble on the first day with our new professor. But considering he said he just wanted to apologize, and I was slightly curious at what his excuse would be, I decided I'd give him a chance.

**Potter, you have one minute. Don't respond to this note, I don't feel like getting on Bagnold's bad side our first day, thank you very much. –Evans**

Jenny was now looking back and forth between me and Potter and I noticed we had attracted the attention of a few other kids as well. _Great._

"Lily is that Potter you've been passing notes with?"

"I have not been _passing notes _with him, I was merely responding to one he sent me, and I've told him to stop anyway".

"But why? I got the distinct impression you were angry with him from the way you've been glaring at him all day"

"I have not been glaring at him" I guess I _had_ been glaring but I didn't realize it was apparent to others.

"What ever you say lily, but despite the fact that you were _not_ glaring at him, what did he do to piss you off this time?"

"if you must know, he was really short with me at dinner last night for absolutely no reason, even Remus tried to apologize for him"

"Right, and was this before or after Collin asked you out?" I stared at her in shock for a moment, and then saw Bagnold staring at us wondering if we were talking. I quickly ripped off another piece of parchment to respond to her so that the professor wouldn't hear us. Apparently I wouldn't be learning anything this lesson.

**You're insane! It has nothing to do with that! Potter has been over me for months now ever since the whole Snape thing, and that was if he ever even liked me, which I doubt he did. He just wanted the attention, and was frustrated I always said no. **

Jenny gave me a withering look at that note and flipped the paper over and began hastily writing on the other side. I had just started paying attention again when her note slipped in front of my face. I gave an exasperated sigh.

**Listen all I'm saying is it's a possibility, and for the record, he definitely liked you even if he also wanted attention. I just wouldn't rule out jealousy quite yet.**

I considered that for a second, I suppose there was a slight possibility he was jealous, even though I doubt it, but that still didn't' give him any excuse for the way he behaved. I quickly scribbled a note back.

**Even if he was jealous, which he wasn't, that still doesn't excuse him being abhorrently rude to me. We'll discuss this later, quit distracting me!**

She rolled her eyes at me but crumpled up the note anyway and stuffed it in her bag. At the end of class Bagnold asked us all a couple questions, calling on us randomly to see what we retained from last year, but it wasn't too bad, only one kid got the answer completely wrong, and soon class was over and it was time for lunch. Kimmy walked over to our table and Jenny and I collected our things but I saw Potter hanging back behind his friends and figured I might as well get it over with now instead of causing a scene in the great hall at lunch.

I told them to go on without me and reluctantly made my way over to Potter.

"You have one minute" I told him shortly. He gave me an exasperated look but I just raised one eyebrow at him; he got himself into this mess, he could get himself out on my terms, or not at all.

"okay okay, listen Lily, I'm really, really, really sorry for snapping at you after dinner, you did nothing wrong, and I know that, and I knew it then too. It's just I was um worked up about my grandpa anyway and then I had a bit of a fight with uh..Peter and I was really err upset about that"

I gave him a disbelieving look, potter was, what, sad at a fight he had with his friend so he got nasty with me? Something about how he was avoiding my eyes when he told me made me question his story.

"really? You were sad cause of fighting with peter and you took it out on me?"

"yes honest! It's not just you girls that get upset about fighting with each other it happens to guys to!"

"Right… then why did you and peter partner up in charms?"

"well we got over it, cause um well that's were Remus comes in. I was just trying to tell Remus about what had happened when you came over and it was just bad timing. Anyway Remus err sat down with me and peter and we hashed it all out and we're fine now"

I still was rather put out with him but I suppose it was a plausible enough story. I think he could see I hadn't fully forgiven him yet because he kept talking.

"listen I know that's not an excuse okay, and I know I had no reason to yell at you, it was just a mistake really, and I'm sorry"

He looked so damn dejected, that I almost felt a little bad for the stupid Pratt. Plus I suppose if my grandpa had just died I wouldn't be in the best of moods, and I know that when I fight with my friends it really makes me upset, and I guess seeing as Potter is pretty hotheaded he would react like that. Ugh, I can't believe I'm about to forgive him.

"okay well that's my minute up so I guess ill uh see you at lunch, sorry." Bloody hell, he's giving me puppy eyes.

"wait potter! Um I guess I forgive you. Even though you're still a git"

"really? Thanks Evans! Ill try not to disappoint again" he said this with a wink and I couldn't help but smile.

I was still considering what Jenny said about the jealous possibility but that thought was eradicated when we walked into the great hall together. Collin was walking in at the same time and I held my breath to see Potter's reaction when he walked up to us and linked arms with me. This was something we always did joking around but I couldn't help but think it had slightly more than platonic intentions now. Potter just clapped him on the back though and said "how's It going specs? I hear your taking the lovely lily out on a date"

Collin smiled at this and we both blushed and he said "yea not sure how I managed it but I'm sure glad I did" I blushed even redder and turned to see Potter's reaction.

Potter just grinned at us. 'well I better get back to my mates before they start bawling from missing me so much, catch you later Evans,…Specs"

As I watched him head over to the his friends I couldn't help but wish he had stayed, he was making me laugh the whole way down to the great hall and we had been in the middle of a conversation when Collin interrupted us.

Never mind though, I was happy to see Collin, even though he was proving to be slightly clingy eve since I agreed to go to Hogsmeade with him.

"so lily I was thinking we could eat lunch together today over at the Hufflepuff table"

Collin was in Hufflepuff, which meant I wouldn't get to each lunch with my friends, but I guess Collin was a pretty good friend of mine and I suppose he sort of expected those things from me now that we had a date planned. I also figured that if I ate lunch at Hufflepuff, I could have dinner at my table, and I'd rather sacrifice lunch anyway.

I smiled brightly at him, "sure lets go". He led me over to the Hufflepuff table and we sat down amongst his friends. Lunch was fun, and all his friends were really nice, they teased me a bit about being an intruder coming from another house and what not but I know it was all in jest and I just laughed along with them.

I tried to let go of the common belief that Hufflepuff's were not the brightest but I couldn't help but think privately that there might have been something to the rumor. Collin was bright enough though and I had a really fun time.

Lunch was over pretty quickly and the rest of the day pretty much passed by in a blur. Herbology was boring cause we focused on theory, and Arithmancy was not very exciting either considering the professor started us off with something simple, but at least I got a head start on my homework when we finished class early.

Soon enough it was time for dinner. As soon as I sat down I was accosted with questions about sitting at the Hufflepuff table for lunch. Jenny kept looking at me and then potter pointedly but I ignored her looks as best as I could.

I had to explain to Mary and Marlene that no Collin and I were _not_ official yet and I'm proud to say I didn't blush at all when Black asked me if I'd be sleeping with the Hufflepuffs as well as dining with them.

Throughout the entire dinner I kept close watch on Potter to see if all the Collin talk was bothering him and I'm happy to say he seemed perfectly content; I would be happy to explain to Jenny later how utterly absurd her jealousy theory was after pointing out his nonchalance at dinner.

After dinner we all relaxed in the common room for a while and I sat and finished up my transfiguration homework with Kimmy while Jenny tried futilely to distract us.

"guys, it is the _second night_ and you're already studying? You two have hit a new low"

"Ms. Hughes, you're bored, looking for excitement, and you didn't immediately come to find me? I'm insulted" Jenny whipped around with a smirk on her face to see Black standing behind her having listened to her complaints to her friends.

"oh god here we go" Kimmy muttered to me, I rolled my eyes at Jenny and Black's antics, they were notorious flirts so naturally they always messed around with one another, truthfully though, they were just friends and even if one of them ever considered liking the other, they both knew a relationship between the two of them would be disastrous.

"Well Mr. Black, I wasn't sure if you were available considering you were getting pretty chummy with McDonald earlier"

"aw Jenny darling I hope that's not a note of jealousy I detect, I might actually think you _care_"

"never that black" he grinned at her and the two of them wandered off to go play a game of exploding snap.

I tired to focus on the transfiguration but it was getting late and every time I read a sentence some bang would go off or some overly exuberant younger student would cheer about something or other, and I was really getting nothing done.

"alright well I'm not going to get any work done down here with exploding snap in one corner, and those 3rd years with the chess, I think I'm just going to head to bed, see you in the A.M Kimmy"

"okay good night Lils, sweet dreams".

As I was walking up the steps to the girl's dormitory, Remus called my name

"Lily! I spoke to Fabian today, he said we patrol on Friday and he put us together by house for now to avoid as much drama as possible, so unless you have sever issues working with me, we're patrol partners again!" I laughed at the thought of having issues working with Remus, nobody with any shred of sanity could have issues working with Remus.

"That's great! As utterly awful as you are dear Remus, anything beats having to work with that tart from Ravenclaw Samantha Hopkirk."

Potter who had walked over when Remus did looked falsely aghast at my statement

"my, my, Lily Evans, are you speaking badly of another Hogwarts student?"

"oh shove it Potter, the whole school knows she's a tart including herself, it's nothing she'd be upset by"

"oh I don't know Evans, I just can't imagine talking badly about a fellow student, I guess I just don't have it in me" Remus laughed at that one.

"come off it prongs, 2 seconds ago you were gossiping like a 2nd year witch about.."

Potter cut him off before he could finish much to my disappointment

"moony! Shall we not?" Potter spluttered

"alright well, as delightful as the company has been, I'm off to bed, see you both in the morning"

They both bade me goodnight and I headed up to bed.

It was only a few moments later when Jenny and Kimmy came up the stairs and took seats on either side of me on my bed.

"so, Spill, how was lunch with Collin?" came the singsong voice of Kimmy.

"it was really nice, he was super sweet and his friends included me in all their conversations, I actually had a really nice time"

"you sound surprised you had fun Lily pads"

"Jen I'm pretty sure I told you I _despise_ that nickname the first time Sirius black called me it" she just smirked at me in response

"and I'm not surprised its just I wasn't sure if it would be awkward considering Collin and I are used to being just friends, but honestly he didn't really act any differently despite the fact that we don't normally eat lunch together"

"well that's not very interesting, I was looking for spicy details" replied Kimmy with a wink

"well sorry to disappoint ladies but there was nothing exciting occurring on that front"

"well what about your fight with Potter? You guys seemed pretty chummy at dinner and down in the common room, I'm guessing you accepted his apology?" ugh I was Hoping Jenny would have forgotten about my fight with Potter, what-ever I was supposed to point out how stupid her theory was anyway.

"oh yea I was wondering about that myself" Kimmy said hesitantly.

"Yea basically potter was a real Prick the other night but he gave me a pretty descent apology after Defense and I accepted"

"it must have been a damn good apology for Lily Evans to forgive James Potter in under one day" came Jenny's smug voice, then she made a kissy face at me

"oh as if! I thought you guys were all pro Cilly anyway?" I spluttered at the two of them as they laughed at me and then Jen asked "what the bloody hell is a cilly?"

"oh you know, its like Lilly and Collin, combined…" I tried to keep a strait face but we all just started cracking up. Couple names are never cute especially one as atrocious as Cilly. Ugh.

"okay but you have to admit, James is pretty cute Lilly, and the bloke fancies the pants off you" said Kimmy as she overcame her giggles.

"yea he's attractive but so are a lot of blokes, and nobody fancies the pants off of anybody, speaking of which, I proved you're stupid little theory wrong Jenny!"

"what theory?" she asked me confusedly.

"your theory that James snapped at me cause he was _jealous"_ I said jealous in as scathing a tone as I could muster.

"oh right, so what's your "proof"?" she put proof in air quotes, that slag.

"well not only did he give me a perfectly sound excuse as to why he was angry" she looked like she was about to cut me off so I hurried on to finish "but, when Collin came over to ask me to sit with him at lunch, James was perfectly alright with it and he even was outright friendly to Collin! Trust me, anyone there would have seen he was anything but jealous"

"oh he's James now is he?"

"Potter then! Its just cause of you lot always saying James"

"alright whatever you say Lils, but I still think he could have just been hiding it"

"nobody is that good a liar, Jen, really you should have been there"

"I don't know Lily, he _is_ a marauder after all" came Kimmy's skeptical voice

"whose side are you on anyway?" I said outraged. That traitor.

"hey I never proclaimed a side! I'm merely an observer"

"alright ladies, as much as I love you, it takes time to look this good and I need my beauty sleep, goodnight girlies" and that was Jenny's signal for us to shut out the lights. No problem here, I'd have been asleep already if it weren't for there interrogation.

Kimmy and I mumbled our goodnights and the lights were off. I feel asleep pretty easily that night and I couldn't help but feel better about the fact that Potter and I had worked out our issues.

**Authors Note: see, they're not fighting anymore! I hope this format was easier to read this time. Btw cilly is pronounced "kill-ey" not "silly". Please Review! xoxo. **


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